The morning of our wedding, as I was thinking about the vows I would share with David Alan Benton, I clearly and loudly heard “Drive from the Heart.” I saw a successful life (didn’t mean it would be easy) for us if we would lead from our hearts and quiet our brains. It felt truthful and grounded in that moment as we officially began our marriage surrounded by family and friends. Those words would pop up at times throughout the years and always brought me comfort.

Fourteen months later, my life changed with a phone call. Unexpectedly, my whole world shifted. From day one, I had a deep-rooted sense that great lessons and growth would come from the loss of David. I clung to that “Drive from the Heart” mantra as I navigated new waters. I realized that I hadn’t listened to myself as much as I needed to, and that changed in that moment. I learned to understand better what I felt so that I could determine what I needed. I learned that I need to prioritize my needs and boundaries to care for myself. I learned that there is light and darkness in every season. I wanted to be present, like pushing on a bruise – it hurt and felt better at the same time.

“Drive from the Heart” represents the balance between your heart and brain. I discovered that grief is felt in the heart, but in my experience, the brain was the primary driver in the early part of the grief season. When I allowed myself to “Drive from the Heart” and balance the brain commentary, I could learn, heal, and grow significantly. My hope in writing and sharing this “heart project” is that readers will connect and benefit from these life lessons without having to experience an
unexpected loss.

After each chapter, I’ve included a journaling opportunity. I shared questions that I asked of myself throughout this grief season; some we easy to answer while some took days and weeks of sitting with it. My hope is that the journaling section will create space for you to reflect upon the lessons I’ve experienced and what that means to you, regardless of what season you are in.

Also, I hope readers will better understand what others may be going through after an unexpected loss. It is hard to navigate alongside someone grieving, yet beauty, learning, healing, and growth can be found when “Driving from the Heart.”