The morning of our wedding, as I was thinking about the vows I would share with David Alan Benton, I clearly and loudly heard “Drive from the Heart.” I saw a successful life (didn’t mean it would be easy) for us if we would lead from our hearts and quiet our brains. It felt truthful and grounded in that moment as we officially began our marriage surrounded by family and friends. Those words would pop up at times throughout the years and always brought me comfort.
Fourteen months later, my life changed with a phone call. Unexpectedly, my whole world shifted. From day one, I had a deep-rooted sense that great lessons and growth would come from the loss of David. I clung to that “Drive from the Heart” mantra as I navigated new waters. I realized that I hadn’t listened to myself as much as I needed to, and that changed in that moment. I learned to understand better what I felt so that I could determine what I needed. I learned that I need to prioritize my needs and boundaries to care for myself. I learned that there is light and darkness in every season. I wanted to be present, like pushing on a bruise – it hurt and felt better at the same time.
“Drive from the Heart” represents the balance between your heart and brain. I discovered that grief is felt in the heart, but in my experience, the brain was the primary driver in the early part of the grief season. When I allowed myself to “Drive from the Heart” and balance the brain commentary, I could learn, heal, and grow significantly. My hope in writing and sharing this “heart project” is that readers will connect and benefit from these life lessons without having to experience an
unexpected loss.
After each chapter, I’ve included a journaling opportunity. I shared questions that I asked of myself throughout this grief season; some we easy to answer while some took days and weeks of sitting with it. My hope is that the journaling section will create space for you to reflect upon the lessons I’ve experienced and what that means to you, regardless of what season you are in.
Also, I hope readers will better understand what others may be going through after an unexpected loss. It is hard to navigate alongside someone grieving, yet beauty, learning, healing, and growth can be found when “Driving from the Heart.”
VerifiedSueJuly 11, 2023Great book to help the grieving process Bought this for my sister-in-law who lost her son suddenly. She began reading it right away.VerifiedAmazon CustomerMay 29, 2023Lessons in loss Losing a loved one is inevitable in life but the lessons Elizabeth shares help to prepare us when that time comes. She shares her experience on how to navigate grieving and suggestions on what to say if you are the one providing comfort to someone who is grieving. Thank you Elizabeth!Verifiedkaren kopsMay 5, 2023Amazingly well written, direct and beautiful all at the same time This book is a must-have for anyone experiencing loss personally or thru the eyes of a loved one, friend or colleague. The suggested replies and phrases when speaking with someone who is grieving are beyond helpful and something I will refer to often. Elizabeth’s approachable writing style is welcoming and educational. An easy read, I loved this book and I will share it with those close to me. Thank you for sharing your sage wisdom and heart with us Elizabeth.VerifiedAmazon CustomerMay 4, 2023Thought provoking and deeply moving. Elizabeth’s seven lessons about life after loss are essential to every person. Her advice comes from a place of compassion, kindness, and honesty. Grief is an emotional journey we will all experience directly or indirectly. Thank you Elizabeth for sharing your story.VerifiedKate DMay 4, 2023Beautiful and Candid Guide for Approaching Grief and Loss It's difficult to know what to say or do when someone you care about has experienced an unexpected loss. Drive From The Heart not only recounts the author's own experience with grief, but also offers insight on how we can support and help loved ones during their grief season. The chapters are candid and the provided journal entries are thought provoking and helpful for anyone going through their own season of grief, or trying to help a loved one through theirs.VerifiedAmazon CustomerMay 3, 2023A beautifully articulated journey through the ineffable experience of grief In the introduction, the author refers to this book as a “Heart project”. After reading Drive from the Heart, this feels palpably true.Through seven life lessons, we are lead on a journey navigating unexpected loss, and the unexpected lessons that can only be arrived at via hard-won experience.Conversationally written by author Elizabeth Benton, the reader is exposed to both the intimate details and practical steps to take following the loss of a partner, and the paradox of continuing to love that person as life moves forward for Elizabeth. Through great gentleness and care, we are invited to reflect on the ways we can be present and show up for those we love, regardless of whether we share the same circumstances of grief.One section that was especially of note to this reader were things to consider saying to someone in a similar hard season of grief, side-by-side with the language to avoid.Equal parts practical and heartfelt, both personal and universal, Drive from the Heart is a gift and comfort to those grieving, as well as a guidebook for those that love them and want to show up in a kind and helpful manner.VerifiedKathryn MobleyMay 2, 2023Great resource The author’s journey through unexpected loss and grief is a unique and honest perspective. It is thought provoking and leads the reader down a path of understanding and empathy when dealing with sudden loss and complicated grief. Great read for anyone experiencing unexpected loss.Verified"hiloprgal"May 2, 2023A must-read for anyone looking for help in their grief journey, especially when it wasn't expected. This is a brave, heartfelt account of one person's grief journey, told as a road map of lessons learned to help others navigate their unique experiences of losing a loved one. Beyond the stages of grief often discussed, these seven lessons are permission to feel the pain, appreciate the wins, and gather strength to find your way forward. I also found this to be a useful guide for those struggling with supporting someone going through the unexpected loss of a loved one. The "Consider the Words" section toward the end was especially valuable in providing better ways to express your support when you're unsure of how to help. This is a must-read for anyone looking for help in their grief journey, especially when it wasn't expected.VerifiedJulia XenakisApril 30, 2023A deeply beautiful “heart” project for anyone who has known loss This book is more than a series of lessons. The author takes you by the hand and leads you down unexpected avenues to unwrap the experiences of loss and grief. The fundamental questions at the end of each chapter are meditations on ways in which we might more fully live out the “seasons” of our heart.Resonating and lovingly crafted, I enjoyed this book immensely.VerifiedKindle CustomerApril 27, 2023When the unthinkable happens, what now? Reading the Drive from the Heart reminded me of the times I thought I knew where I was going and how to get there, and then a moment happened. Elizabeth P Cambra Benton leads us on a journey of seven ways to look at those unexpected moments in our life. I particularly liked the chapter on "Bruises and Sucking Back." A definite winner for those monumental times in our lives.Amazon rating score: 5.0 of 5, based on 10 reviews
Elizabeth Puanani Cambra Benton is a wife, bonus mom, daughter, sister, niece, colleague, and friend. She’s traveled extensively between moving frequently with her family and in her own career but, has always called Hawaii her true home…
The morning of our wedding, as I was thinking about the vows I would share with David Alan Benton, I clearly and loudly heard “Drive From The Heart.” I saw a successful life (didn’t mean it would be easy) for us if we would lead from our hearts and quiet our brains. It felt truthful and grounded in that moment as we officially began our marriage surrounded by family and friends. Those words would pop up at times throughout the years and always brought me comfort.